i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
