i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We are all done wearing pants today
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
