Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
