So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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