They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
