The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
