"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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