Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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