Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
