She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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