he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
They have beer where we have blood.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
