I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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