I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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