so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
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Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
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The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
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