At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
vagina is talking i cant
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
