I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Non-Jews are for practice
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize