If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
