so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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