I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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