Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
