My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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