Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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