i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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