We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
