yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize