Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
