I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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