just survived the first fart of the relationship.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Green mimosas i think yes
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
