some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
