he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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