Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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