I've blown a few things in my day
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
