if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
