I must be too annoying 4 u.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
