all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
