So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
