I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
