Where did you get a picture of my penis
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
