If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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