He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize