Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
