I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
