Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
