Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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