apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
