I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize