I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
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there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
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He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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