God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
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We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
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Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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