My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
