..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Come on in and take your pants off
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