i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
