Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
