youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
