I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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