Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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