Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
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