called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
