I am puke
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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